"Everybody," she mumbled, her mouth full of chicken and rice. "They ask it like there's something wrong with me. Like I am purposefully not in a relationship by some grand design of my own."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. And then it's usually followed with a, 'hey, when are you and your roommate going to finally get together...' which is simply awkward and unnecessary."
She was sitting in the breakroom at work, eating her dinner with a fellow manager and friend. He was eating a personal pan pizza and breadsticks from Pizza Hut. She was eating carefully weighed out and pre-portioned chicken and rice with a spinach salad. He had made fun of her meager dinner. She had pointed out that he was going to get fat from his own dinner and then his new wife would leave him for a younger man. He had laughed her off... then pushed his breadsticks to the side.
"How did you meet Melissa?" she asked, taking a bite of her salad.
He shrugged.
"Oh, I don't know. Friend of a friend. We started chatting and then hanging out and then hanging out more alone. I couldn't even tell you when our first date was." He laughed then. "Then one day she asked me if we were 'together' and I said 'sure'. We got married a year later."
"How romantic," she deadpanned. "You just got married, right? June?"
"Yeah, June."
Big Bang Theory was playing on the TV. She glanced up at it, caught a line, chuckled, looked back down. Took another bite of chicken. She caught him looking at her out of the corner of her eye.
"You were married, right?" he asked. Few people at her work knew this about her. It wasn't something she talked about.
"Yeah."
"You must've got married young."
"I did."
Twenty-Two was very young to get married, no matter what anybody said.
"Yeah, I waited. Thirty was the perfect age for me. I didn't really grow up until about a year ago." He laughed again. Took a bite of his pizza. "I was a partier. I mean, you know I still kinda am, but I was worse a couple years ago."
"Didn't you tell me you don't even remember your bachelor party?" she asked, a smirk on her face. He looked chagrined.
"I remember the first couple hours."
"And then you told me how hung over you were at your own wedding."
"Yeah, that was pretty bad."
"Well, whenever I get married again, I'm not going to have a big to-do I think. I think I want just a small get-together. Friends. Like at a little place in a vineyard. Good food. Maybe some wine. Live music. Some dancing. Intimate. You had a big wedding, right?"
"Oh, yeah, it was big. Melissa wanted a big, fancy thing. I wish I could've done something smaller. I mean, but I'm just the guy. I didn't really get a say."
"Yeah."
They lapsed into a pause. Sheldon said something funny on TV. She finished her chicken. It was almost time for them to go back.
"But don't worry," he said, before finishing off his pizza. "Whenever you want to get into a relationship, you will. I mean, when the right guy comes along, you know... you'll know."
"Well, if you've got any single friends..."
He laughed again. It was one of the things she enjoyed about him, that he laughed a lot. Sometimes at himself, sometimes at her. She didn't mind too much. He was only one of maybe three or four people at work that she spoke candidly with. He was one of the few she felt she could be herself around.
"Sure, sure, I'll keep an ear out. But in the meantime, don't worry about it. A girl like you doesn't need to be hanging off of some guy. You've got too much going for you."
She was flattered by the compliment. And a little bashful.
"Well thanks," she tried to shake it off. "I'll take that to heart."
"Well, yeah." He stood up to leave, grabbed his trash. "I meant it. Don't listen to those people. Your guy will come along."
She stood too. She didn't really know what to say, so she didn't say anything. She followed him back into the main room. They clocked back in.
"I'm going to check the line," he said then. Back to work. "If there aren't any pulls, I'm starting on abandons. I'll have the team start the zone."
"Ok. Sounds good, thanks." He was reporting to her. She was the one in charge. "Let me know what's on the line. Maybe I'll have softlines run from the fitting room for a while first."
"Will do."
They split up, went their separate ways. But his words still rattled in her ear. Don't worry about it. A girl like her didn't need to be hanging off of some guy. So true. So refreshingly honest. No, she didn't, did she? She was perfectly content and fine the way she was, wasn't she?
Folding clothes later, she let her mind wander a bit. Touching on life. On her relationships, on truth. She pondered the incredible night she had just passed with two of her friends in their cozy house. She thought about her roommates at home, probably cooking dinner together, eating rice and vegies and anything else that was on their collective diet... she thought about the guy she'd been texting and whether that was such a good idea or not...
She didn't need some guy to make her whole. She was whole as she was.
She was the only one responsible for her own happiness.
No thing and no one could define her.
She took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.
Thank you, God, for bringing her back to a place of completeness. Simple conversations to remind her of simple truths...
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