Fate. You dsigner of dreams, is this what you had in store?
I can hardly believe
it.
I would laugh but
sadness
disovles the joy within me.
And isn't that what I say?
Positive attitude. I will have, yes,
though it all falls a part
but who am I
to expect less?
I should've seen this coming.
I sat outside in the cemetary for
30 minutes
today and there was another funeral
happening.
At the same time.
How's that for fate.
Love it.
yeah.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Almost October. . .
I said something about Hillsong to Jered last night and he said, "That's not tonight, that's in September." I reminded him it was September. He had a blank look on his face. "You thought it was still August, didn't you?" I asked him. He said he had.
Yeah. Me too.
8 years ago today Jered proposed to me. Thought I'd throw that out there. It's a great story. Ask me about it sometime. Back in '04, today was a Sunday and we went to the Ren Fest with Harmonie and Jason.
I'm leaving early before I get to work and I'm buying trail running shoes today. Asics, of course. I called ahead to make sure they had them in. They're pink and black. Oh yeah.
What began as my "Target Diet" has simply become a better way of living-- without the stress of work. I've lost 10 lbs in the past five weeks. I'm now where I was back in spring of '08. Of course, we don't go back to that year. That's one of the lost years.
I had a talk with my HR a week or so ago. I was kinda ready to get out of my store. Drama, you know. It happens at work. She told me to hang on. She told me it was only 6 more months or so before I could look at getting geared up to move on. 18 months is how long I must stay in my current position. I do love being a TL of the bakery but my 18 months is up in April (not that I'm counting) and she's hinted that if I can get some certain ducks in a row, perhaps the future will open up for me. So my big 3-0 is looming and I'm kinda looking to that future.
Had dinner with a friend of mine last night. She has such a wide, open future and you know? I don't really envy her. I'm not big on choices. I kinda like knowing what's before me and trusting that God will open the right doors at the right time. I've always lived my life that way-- for better or worse. I've always known what I've wanted and I've always gone after it. I've never had the serious fork in the road, so to speak. I think God knows I wouldn't know what to do with myself. I would sit in that intersection and wait for a sign (here, Jered would add something about me picking flowers and singing softly to myself as well).
Went running last night. No shin splints. Loved it. I felt oh so accomplished and on top of the world. . . went running this morning and got my butt kicked. Oh, body. Should've started this when I was younger. . . seriously thinking and rethinking this 4.4 mile trail run on Saturday. I sure wouldn't be able to run the whole thing. Trail running is difficult. It's an entirely different way to use your body. But running concrete seems so borring by comparison.
As an aside, I'm listening to the new Mumford and Sons album "Babel" on Spotify. Yeah, it was just released today.
Well. Guess that's all for now.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Husband and people and music and running
Where on earth do I begin?
Jered and I just took a whirlwind 30-hour trip all across Missouri and back. It was the first day of fall and it was absolutely beautiful outside and the parks were crowded with people and every stop-off for the Katy trail (originally the MKT trail we discovered) was bursting with people. By the genius of my husband we'd landed a suite the night before at the Holiday Inn and we took full advantage of their workout room and their indoor pool/hot tub. I was definitely ready to get out of work on Fri and hit the road and we hit it running. We shared driving duties and during the four hours over and 11 hours back, I had plenty of time to think and be blessed. Let's begin :)
First, I am blessed to have an amazing husband. Jokes and Holiday Inn blessings aside, he really is quite amazing. We had a bit of a rough week last week and ultimately, we had a wonderful 3 hour conversation after work Tuesday night (read: 11p-2a) and God opened some walls that had begun to slowly build over the course of these last few weeks. Boy, it doesn't take much time for the devil to get that foothold. . . and it was nice to have the time to reconnect and talk some things through. I reminded Jered that all these little trials and hardships were just our adversary trying to get the best of us. Why else would all these little things have come up just since he'd gotten this job teaching at a Christian school? I believe in lots of things but coincidences are not one of them. We debated the merit of our 30-hour Missouri trip and in the end, it was Jered who decided we needed a little vacation. I am glad that he followed the Spirit's prompting in this and that we went. I think God bestowed his blessing on the idea in full. In the course, our Resolution 2012 was fulfilled ;)
As an aside, he probably doesn't want me saying this but I will: I'm overwhelmed by Jered's passion and dedication and calling as a teacher. Some of these stories he tells me. . . man. I told him it's like reading one of those books about inspirational teachers. . . except it's just about his day/week/month. I really am so proud of him. His can-do attitude and fearlessness inspire me.
Second, boy it's nice to have people to do things with. Some of the most difficult times I've had in my life and that we've had in my and Jered's marriage were when we felt the most isolated. When we moved to Hannibal and for that first year. When we moved back to KC. I remember after we'd moved back and we'd drive to Hannibal and we'd have dinner with friends and catch up and hang out and I remember how we'd lay in the dark at night and seriously consider giving up and moving back. . . it was only the Basehor Church job that kept us here. Even then, we'd still bring it up every once in a while, moving back in to our house we could not sell. . . but in the past year or so, it's been overwhelming the growth of fellowship and friendships in our lives-- both as individuals and as a couple. And God's blessed me with an assortment of friendships-- some married, some not. Some older, some younger, some with kids and some who never want children. Some from work and some from church and some who are relatives I'd never been close to before. . . everything is cyclic, I know that. I don't expect even this to last. But I'm glad to be in the middle of it now.
Third, Jered and I both decided Coldplay's Rush of Blood to the Head album is one of the alltime best albums ever. This isn't very deep, I know that. But we were listening to a mix CD he'd made and there were quite a bunch of songs from RoBH.. It makes me think about music in general. We were talking about this the other night: why is it that 90% of very spiritual people tend to be musically inclined? They sing, they play the guitar, they know what a djimbe is. . . I said that it was probably because music has such a strong connection to the soul. I mean, when I plug in my Ipod and put the earbuds in my ears, it's like plugging the Ipod into *myself*. Does that make sense? Like music is the antithesis of cancer. Just as cancer invades every cell, tissue, organ, blood vessel, inch of a body and destroys it; the right music elevates it. Every. Part. The right music plugs the nature of God into you and all thing right and holy and beautiful. No wonder singing praise is so powerful.
I read an article the other day speaking about music people run to. I had fallen into a certain category of people who tended to pick short, fast-tempo'd songs for my run. I have a couple playlists just to shake things up. This article I read, however, said that music and running are deeply spiritual experiences and that to run while listening, it's best to think of the run as a duration-- like meditation almost. And the author wrote that to look at it this way was to run to entire albums and let the album as a whole guide the experience. Two albums mentioned were Simon & Garfunkle's "PSRT" album (which I own) and also a certain Sigur Ros album (which I also own-- see February post 2012). Those are a bit slow for my taste so I picked out a Linkin Park album that Jered had actually burned and never really listened to. So, it's Linkin Park, right, so I skipped a couple songs but all in all, I enjoyed the experience. I've already run to full albums of Moby and Barlow Girl and Switchfoot, so I guess it's not a completely unheard of practice. But the thought of running through some of the slower songs made me a little cautious. Not bad.
Fourth, I'm tackling the Double Ogg Dare run this coming Saturday. It's a 4.4 mile off-road course (The Orange Trail, you SMP lovers) and I'm pretty nervous. Jered and I ran at the Plaza last Sunday and I did something to my left leg. . . shin splints maybe? Not sure and I'm not disciplined enough to stay off it so it keeps flaring up. Didn't run yesterday or today so maybe that'll fix it? Leg sure didn't feel too good after my run on the treadmill at the Holiday Inn. . . either way, I'm still going to attempt the Orange Trail run and Jered's coming along to cheer me on as I cross the finish line :) Might be limping a little as I go to work that afternoon. . .
In short, we are in a blessed season of life. I'll take every moment of it I can!
Jered and I just took a whirlwind 30-hour trip all across Missouri and back. It was the first day of fall and it was absolutely beautiful outside and the parks were crowded with people and every stop-off for the Katy trail (originally the MKT trail we discovered) was bursting with people. By the genius of my husband we'd landed a suite the night before at the Holiday Inn and we took full advantage of their workout room and their indoor pool/hot tub. I was definitely ready to get out of work on Fri and hit the road and we hit it running. We shared driving duties and during the four hours over and 11 hours back, I had plenty of time to think and be blessed. Let's begin :)
First, I am blessed to have an amazing husband. Jokes and Holiday Inn blessings aside, he really is quite amazing. We had a bit of a rough week last week and ultimately, we had a wonderful 3 hour conversation after work Tuesday night (read: 11p-2a) and God opened some walls that had begun to slowly build over the course of these last few weeks. Boy, it doesn't take much time for the devil to get that foothold. . . and it was nice to have the time to reconnect and talk some things through. I reminded Jered that all these little trials and hardships were just our adversary trying to get the best of us. Why else would all these little things have come up just since he'd gotten this job teaching at a Christian school? I believe in lots of things but coincidences are not one of them. We debated the merit of our 30-hour Missouri trip and in the end, it was Jered who decided we needed a little vacation. I am glad that he followed the Spirit's prompting in this and that we went. I think God bestowed his blessing on the idea in full. In the course, our Resolution 2012 was fulfilled ;)
As an aside, he probably doesn't want me saying this but I will: I'm overwhelmed by Jered's passion and dedication and calling as a teacher. Some of these stories he tells me. . . man. I told him it's like reading one of those books about inspirational teachers. . . except it's just about his day/week/month. I really am so proud of him. His can-do attitude and fearlessness inspire me.
Second, boy it's nice to have people to do things with. Some of the most difficult times I've had in my life and that we've had in my and Jered's marriage were when we felt the most isolated. When we moved to Hannibal and for that first year. When we moved back to KC. I remember after we'd moved back and we'd drive to Hannibal and we'd have dinner with friends and catch up and hang out and I remember how we'd lay in the dark at night and seriously consider giving up and moving back. . . it was only the Basehor Church job that kept us here. Even then, we'd still bring it up every once in a while, moving back in to our house we could not sell. . . but in the past year or so, it's been overwhelming the growth of fellowship and friendships in our lives-- both as individuals and as a couple. And God's blessed me with an assortment of friendships-- some married, some not. Some older, some younger, some with kids and some who never want children. Some from work and some from church and some who are relatives I'd never been close to before. . . everything is cyclic, I know that. I don't expect even this to last. But I'm glad to be in the middle of it now.
Third, Jered and I both decided Coldplay's Rush of Blood to the Head album is one of the alltime best albums ever. This isn't very deep, I know that. But we were listening to a mix CD he'd made and there were quite a bunch of songs from RoBH.. It makes me think about music in general. We were talking about this the other night: why is it that 90% of very spiritual people tend to be musically inclined? They sing, they play the guitar, they know what a djimbe is. . . I said that it was probably because music has such a strong connection to the soul. I mean, when I plug in my Ipod and put the earbuds in my ears, it's like plugging the Ipod into *myself*. Does that make sense? Like music is the antithesis of cancer. Just as cancer invades every cell, tissue, organ, blood vessel, inch of a body and destroys it; the right music elevates it. Every. Part. The right music plugs the nature of God into you and all thing right and holy and beautiful. No wonder singing praise is so powerful.
I read an article the other day speaking about music people run to. I had fallen into a certain category of people who tended to pick short, fast-tempo'd songs for my run. I have a couple playlists just to shake things up. This article I read, however, said that music and running are deeply spiritual experiences and that to run while listening, it's best to think of the run as a duration-- like meditation almost. And the author wrote that to look at it this way was to run to entire albums and let the album as a whole guide the experience. Two albums mentioned were Simon & Garfunkle's "PSRT" album (which I own) and also a certain Sigur Ros album (which I also own-- see February post 2012). Those are a bit slow for my taste so I picked out a Linkin Park album that Jered had actually burned and never really listened to. So, it's Linkin Park, right, so I skipped a couple songs but all in all, I enjoyed the experience. I've already run to full albums of Moby and Barlow Girl and Switchfoot, so I guess it's not a completely unheard of practice. But the thought of running through some of the slower songs made me a little cautious. Not bad.
Fourth, I'm tackling the Double Ogg Dare run this coming Saturday. It's a 4.4 mile off-road course (The Orange Trail, you SMP lovers) and I'm pretty nervous. Jered and I ran at the Plaza last Sunday and I did something to my left leg. . . shin splints maybe? Not sure and I'm not disciplined enough to stay off it so it keeps flaring up. Didn't run yesterday or today so maybe that'll fix it? Leg sure didn't feel too good after my run on the treadmill at the Holiday Inn. . . either way, I'm still going to attempt the Orange Trail run and Jered's coming along to cheer me on as I cross the finish line :) Might be limping a little as I go to work that afternoon. . .
In short, we are in a blessed season of life. I'll take every moment of it I can!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Not all all who wander are lost. . .
Things are looking up. Have no fear. Maybe it's the nicer weather. Maybe it's getting to run more. Maybe it's my job isn't quite getting to me like it had been. Less stress. More fun.
We're running the Plaza 10k this Sunday. Wish us luck!
We've had two photography jobs in the past 7 days plus another one tomorrow. Yay! I forget how much I enjoy editing photos until I start. Then there is no such thing as time. Or food. Or sleep. Or Jade (much to his dismay).
My cousin Rachel asked us today was our Life Mission Statement was. Something she'd heard from one of her masters classes. Wow. I need to think about this more but I'm thinking mine must have something to do with joy. Boy, I sure miss Joy when I can't feel it. When I can't notice its presence. But I know I must understand that I always have joy. I need to just take a good look at my circumstances and then my attitude. Then adjust whichever's necessary (probably more often than not it's the latter).
Work is much better. Had such a great day yesterday. So productive. So fun. Work should be fun, I think. I work so much better when I'm glad to be there. I'm thinking it had something to do with the mid-shift in Starbucks. . . oh Starbucks. And my nearly completing my reset. And getting to hang out with Rachel. And then seeing Kayte and Cari as they came in. And then leaving at 4 to go running. And hanging out with Rachel that evening. And then having a nice, relaxing day today with Harmonie and our 31 party and then Harmonie, Jered and I all having lunch at Moe's.
Yes.
Good times.
So this is short and sweet. Just wanted to post something positive.
We're running the Plaza 10k this Sunday. Wish us luck!
We've had two photography jobs in the past 7 days plus another one tomorrow. Yay! I forget how much I enjoy editing photos until I start. Then there is no such thing as time. Or food. Or sleep. Or Jade (much to his dismay).
My cousin Rachel asked us today was our Life Mission Statement was. Something she'd heard from one of her masters classes. Wow. I need to think about this more but I'm thinking mine must have something to do with joy. Boy, I sure miss Joy when I can't feel it. When I can't notice its presence. But I know I must understand that I always have joy. I need to just take a good look at my circumstances and then my attitude. Then adjust whichever's necessary (probably more often than not it's the latter).
Work is much better. Had such a great day yesterday. So productive. So fun. Work should be fun, I think. I work so much better when I'm glad to be there. I'm thinking it had something to do with the mid-shift in Starbucks. . . oh Starbucks. And my nearly completing my reset. And getting to hang out with Rachel. And then seeing Kayte and Cari as they came in. And then leaving at 4 to go running. And hanging out with Rachel that evening. And then having a nice, relaxing day today with Harmonie and our 31 party and then Harmonie, Jered and I all having lunch at Moe's.
Yes.
Good times.
So this is short and sweet. Just wanted to post something positive.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)