Free fall.
That's the only way to describe my life immediately following The Night of my husband and my's separation.
The bottom falls quite suddenly out on this foundation you've built your life on. Suddenly, everything is in the air, nothing is grounded, everything is upside down, nothing is as it should be. I drank a bottle of wine that night and called my best friend. "I kicked him out." There was an edge of sheer panic in my voice. I never remember what she said but it was something along the lines of I Love You and with that I fell asleep.
It took more than a year for me to find myself again.
When I found myself, it was with my face down on the basement carpet of a big house in Olathe and with one fail swoop, my life was no longer lived in reaction... as it had been for the previous 17 months, but was suddenly focused. Action. Moving forward.
This is me. This is what I want. This is what I'm doing.
I'm moving down town. I'm finding a new job. I'm getting reconnected. I'm leaving all these band-aids behind that I've relied on and I'm going in search of real healing and a Real Life. . .
And Here I Am.
I never ever ever ever thought my Fork in the Road would lead me here. Not in a million years. But I'm so grateful for where I am now...
I feel like I've finally reached that horizon. I've finally arrived. The journey that began that September 26th, 2012 can finally end and now, I can really start this life...
