Obviously, God is teaching me a hard lesson on happiness. Honesty time. All my life, I've struggled with bouts of incredible desperation. I think this is common of most people. The reality is that we were made for paradise and we do not live in paradise. We were made for communion with the Creator and often our relationship with Him seems to fall short (or is nonexistent). Of course humanity struggles with depression. We are often not who we were created to be nor living the life we were created to live.
So in light of all this, how can we choose happiness? It's a nice little phrase. Catchy. Rolls off the tongue. Makes someone look super enlightened and super spiritual when they say it. But I am one of the most hard core practical people you'll ever meet (I know, ironic). When I hear anything, my very first thought is... Okay. What do I DO with this? What does this actually look like day to day? What can I do?
Give me my 12 steps.
So, after sitting down with my coffee and processing over the past few days/weeks/months, I've come up with a non-inclusive list of practicalities of choosing happiness every day.
In no particular order (but maybe they should be in one):
Be grateful. Say out loud at least once a day, "I am so grateful for..." and list at the very least, one thing. We do this around Thanksgiving... I'm overloaded with posts on my newsfeed of the 30 days of gratitude. Sad that it ends there... Choosing to be thankful is choosing happiness.
Pray for at least one person a day who is not yourself. It can be your kids, your spouse, your co-worker, your siblings, your neighbor, or (better yet) that one person who irritates the daylights out of you. Choosing to honestly care about another person is choosing happiness.
Think of a person you will meet today. Think of a way to bring them happiness. Not so they like you more, but just to pay it forward. Bring them coffee. Call them up and say Hello. Post something nice on their Facebook. Send them a quick "thinking of you" txt. Do the dishes. Buy them groceries. Offer to babysit their kids for an afternoon. Forgive a debt. Etc. Do this at least once a day. Every day. Be intentional. Choose to think about someone other than yourself and you are choosing happiness.
Take care of yourself. Get out and get active. Even if it's taking the stairs instead of the elevator. Even if it's choosing to turn down that chocolate cake. Taking care of yourself triggers happiness for yourself in your brain. Sometimes, the above step (doing something nice for someone else) is so much easier than doing something nice for ourselves. Choosing to treat ourselves right is part of choosing happiness.
<And then, one of the most difficult and yet one of the most vital parts of Choosing Happiness>
Think about the situation(s) that are weighing heavily on your heart. The things that keep happiness from us. The things that make us want to curl into a ball on our bed and not come out. Pray about them. Even if they seem huge. Even if it seems like God doesn't care. Even if you cannot possibly see a way out. Even if your burden is so heavy, it is making you sick. Pray. If you're not sure how, it can go something like, "God, (insert issue) is a huge deal to me. And God, honestly, it seems like you don't care. God, I cannot possibly see a way out of this. God, this burden is so heavy, it is making me sick." When you feel comfortable, add, "I can't fix this on my own. Please help me." When are even more comfortable, after you pray this prayer, consciously train your mind to let go of the problem and stop worrying about it. This will free up more of your mind to choose Happiness.
If this seems like a bunch of trite advice, just start with one. One a day. Move to two or more every day. Move to living in the reality of the above words. Move to infusing your life with gratitude and positive thoughts and prayer and Letting Go. Find others to keep you accountable. Surround yourself with people who are practicing the above attributes. Let Go of those who choose not to.
Choosing to surround yourself with positive people makes choosing happiness infinitely easier.
I'm sure there are other things, but the above practices have radically changed my life. And when I feel myself slipping and forgetting, falling back into sadness, feeling overwhelmed... I have friends that I have purposefully placed in my life who tell me (weekly, daily) Barb, you choose your own happiness. Don't stay in your bedroom all day. Don't mope. Don't complain. Go Be Happy.
Amen for that.
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