This one might be a little difficult

This next poem is going to probably be depressing to some people who know me. Roll with it here. I've committed myself to honesty. With others. With myself. I want to live a completely honest life. So here we go.


Just After We Almost Ran Out of Gas

I still have that instinct
to pray.
And I stop myself,
not because I don't believe in God,
I do, but
belief is standing on the other side.
See, if love is a choice,
I have chosen. And if Jesus
wants to love me,
by all means,
He can go right on ahead.

But that won't keep my family safe
or start my car
or protect me from my own decisions.

So I stop myself.
No sense in prolonging the inevitable.