The Choices We Make

It's 11am and
I am one step, just
One step away from a really
really
really bad
decision.

You know,
the kind of decision you need to make
and your hands are shaking
and you feel
slightly
nauseous.

The kind of choice
that one false move
will probably
change my life.
No, not probably,
it will
and it will probably
not change for
the better
(no matter how I fool myself
otherwise).

That door is left ajar,
there's that old fork in the road
(you know exactly which one).
Questions are raised,
and I have a choice.
And my words are caught in my chest.
And my heart is pounding.

Then there's the choice, oh Lord,
What to say? What to do?

Life, you are a hard thing lately.
Exhilarating and Devastating,
and you know it.

But it's the choices we make
that define us.

And, Lord help me,
I choose to keep my mouth shut
and stay put
and I don't (I refuse to)
open that
door. . .





(no matter how much I really want to. . . )