He is risen!

They had us say this at church this morning three times. He is risen. He is risen indeed. Well, the pastor said the first part. The congregation echoed the second. I said it once. Twice. Got a bit choked up and didn't say the third.

I got a bit choked up a couple times at church today. Not sure what was getting to me so much. Perhaps the topic. It was "I was as good as dead"... People shared their testimonies and the pastor asked us... have we ever felt as good as dead? Or close to it?

Yes.

I have.

Spiritually. Emotionally. Physically.

I've made some good and right choices here lately. I've stood up for some things and seen positive life results. I know I'm not finished yet. I know there are still things I need to change, things I need to prioritize and accomplish.

But.

I came to that fork and I picked a way. I was lost in a maze and He lifted me out. There once was darkness and indecision and regret and sadness and confusion. Now there is only the future before me and dawn's rays are alighting on the road signs.

I've been as good as dead many times and somehow I was always rescued. Somehow, I was always saved and drawn out of it. Somehow He gives me the right people to come along side me. Gives me the right conviction to shake me up. Gives me the eyes to see that I've gotten lost...

It's not really innocence that I long for. It's to recognize the darkness and chose another way.

Thank you, God, for using the strangest of circumstances to make sure I went to church this morning. Thank you for leading the way. Thank you for using people to teach me and love me.

Thank you for taking that weight off my chest.

Thank you for being who you are.

Thank you for the empty grave.

He is risen indeed.