To continue...

To continue the blog I began yesterday (I was distracted suddenly and for a while...) I had an afternoon spent in quiet contemplation and inner turmoil and my words from the previous blog came back to me in haunting clarity at several times. My future apartment complex leasing agent called today and said because of my Hannibal house, I wouldn't be approved for a lease. If my house was in foreclosure, I'd be fine because they have foreclosure forgiveness but since I wasn't... since I was merely behind $2500 worth of payments, I was not qualified to lease from them. Friends told me to go to my parents for help. Perhaps borrow $2500 to get me caught up on payments? But then again I am quite on the way to foreclosure and why on earth spend $2500 to put off the inevitable?

I had thoughts of selling everything I own and using the money to begin paying down debts. Every. Single. Last. Thing. Computer, sofas, kitchen table, books, CDs, Blu-rays, dishes, lawnmower, headboard, cameras... maybe crashing at friend's places with my necessities in a backpack. Couch hopping. Being relatively homeless... or convincing my parents to let me live with them for a month or two. Foreclose on the house. Save some money. Find a place to live.

That's about when my previous blog came back to me...

Sell everything I own and live simply. Oh man. Perhaps I'm prophetic.

Well, the leasing agent called me back and said I could get approved... just pay an extra $795. Well, $795 is better than $2500. I don't have to sell much to get $795... and as much as I am relived and glad to be able to move in to Park Edge after all... I admit a small part of me is a little disappointed. Not really disappointed, I didn't really want to be homeless. But my emotions began this afternoon in despair and worry and anger and ended in some kind of strange gleefulness. I was helping shoot the produce order and as I was scanning bar code after bar code, the wide open future stretched before me. The motorcycles I was looking up online last night and the sunny California coast rose in my mind.

Either way, my priorities had quickly snapped into place and a clarity of mind I rarely get to experience settled upon me.



Oh to sell everything I own and...

Just live simply.