I want to Do Something Real

. . . and what is that?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The most miserable I've been in my life is when I've been living for myself and my own pleasure only. The happiest I've been is when I'm living for others...

I don't believe I deserve anything in this life. What do I deserve? Really? What do we deserve? What does this universe owe us? What does God owe us?

Seriously?

Everything I have is a gift. Every good day I have is a treasure. Every bad day is just a bad day. Every life event which seems terrible at first is simply a life lesson in the end. Would I change a day of my life? Would I change even one moment? Everything that has happened to me is something to learn from. It's something that has shaped me into the person I am. I really would not change a day. Lord willing, I will grow from every opportunity so why change my past? I have not been perfect, my life has not been the signpost for all that is right... I have not made the right choice at every opportunity.

I wish I'd been more active in my teenage years. I wish my brother was still alive and with us. I wish I didn't have to get divorced. . .

but I have love. I have joy. I have a strange sense of peace that overcomes understanding. I have compassion for the walkedupon. I laugh in the face of trepidation. I stand firm in the face of oppression. I square my shoulders in the face of challenge.

I am my mother's daughter after all.

But ultimately, I want to do something Real.

I want to change the world.

What's so wrong with that?