Sell Everything And Go

I sat with my Aunt this afternoon at Homers. She asked me how my life was going. My mind drew a blank. I didn't know what to say. I articulate better writing. Last night, after a crazy day and emotionally exhausting evening, after getting the txt about Dennis at 1am and then, hands shaking, trying to play it cool because the guys were watching and then finally giving in to sobs... all I could say in the end was, I gotta go blog.

Are you going to sleep at all tonight? he asked.

He played Chris Tomlin to calm me and I sat there, my mind slowly shutting down. The number one thought I kept coming to, the only thing that I could focus on were four simple and familiar words.

Sell everything and Go.

I'm not joking. Everything in my life seems to be leading up to this. It began just getting into this apartment, selling all my second shooter camera equipment to be able to afford the deposit. Selling a couple blu-ray disks for gas money when my account went overdrawn. Thinking about the TV I just bought (and have not watched), about my blu-ray player, about this very computer I'm typing on... My headboard and dresser and desk and clothing and kitchen table and...

I was in a daze yesterday. My roommate left a note on the table that opened a brilliant new world and so far everyone says Go For It. All signs point to Go. Domino after domino falling. Piece after piece being laid before me.

But only if you feel God's peace, my aunt told me. If it's fear you're feeling, still go on ahead. But if it feels wrong. If it all feels out of place, then hold off and pray.

Sell everything and go.

That feels so right. It always has. I guess the real question of the day is, Go Where?