Dear Brother

Sometimes in life, things happen that you simply cannot talk about.

There really are no words. And how you deal with them has no voice.

All I can say is, Brother, we failed them. I'd say it was mostly you and your Jack Kerouakian attitude towards life but I know that's not true. I know it wasn't just you. I had the ability to influence as much as you. But the events of this weekend has led me to no choice but to say it so simply. And I know it wasn't just us. I know there was so much else at stake but we failed (I failed) to recognize. You opened those doors to let the darkness in and it has overtaken. I did not stand in the way. When you were gone, I still did nothing to staunch the flood. I did not think I had the power. I did not think then that I had the influence. I was miles and miles away and I chose that life.

And now look at this mess of our family.

Brother, I wish things had worked out differently. For you. For them.

God knows I expected them to join you eventually. I must say at least this is better. You would agree, I'm sure. We are alive. We are here to suffer the consequences. God, I hope we learn from them. Put in a good word for us up there.

-Your big sister