I've Decided

I've decided to start singing. For real, getting more serious about it. Maybe taking voice lessons when the money is there.

I've decided to get real about my photography.

And art. Painting, drawing, capturing, redefining.

I've decided to really get back into guitar playing. Getting better at rhythm. Learn some more chords. Learn the bass.

I really need to read more. I've been reading The Poisonwood Bible now for a month. I'm putting it down and beginning Inferno by Dan Brown.

I need to stop working so much. Only three weeks of this and it's good but exhausting. And I'm missing out on so much life going on around me. Maybe just another 6 weeks and I'll call it good. Three more paychecks.

I need to get past that wall in my head. The one that looks big and vast and impossible. I need to get on the other side. This has been a common conversation in the apartment for the past four days.... coming against that wall and pushing through it or climbing over it or knocking it down. Reveling in the open space of possibilities it leads to.

If that's powering through another month or two of 70+ hour work weeks, then so be it. If it's dedicating hours each day to my own pursuits, then it is what it is. If it's letting go of hindrances and distractions, I will do what it takes.

I'm not sure yet what is on the other side but my heart knows it's good. That instinctive part of my mind knows it is something to push for. That it's worth the present sacrifice.